NEW YORK, I'M BACK
I moved to New York from Los Angeles in 2014 to follow my dream of performing on Broadway. In reality, I was running away from my feelings. Only months before, I ended an 8-year relationship with my high school boyfriend; moving across the country in my mind was logical. It would solve everything.
Taking on the "city that never sleeps" was a challenge I was ready to take, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Going from audition to audition and getting rejected, as well as balancing work with an active social life quickly took a toll on me. It didn’t help that I was working in bar and hanging out with the wrong crowd. I was spiraling downward into a big rabbit hole. Soon, I hit rock bottom and after months of pain, misery and self sabotage, I left the city I dreamed would bring me success. With few options, I moved home to San Jose, CA, where I hadn’t lived since graduating from high school. I thought my life was over, but in reality, my life had been saved.
Close to home in San Jose was CorePower Yoga, a studio that had recently opened. I had taken a few yoga classes at CorePower in Los Angeles for the physical benefits as a dancer and decided to try it again at the new studio. After one of the classes, I found out that teacher training would soon be starting. I thought to myself, “there’s no way I could ever teach yoga.” Since I needed something to do and it would help with the unwanted transition of moving back home, I took the training. I later realized that this was what I was meant to do. I started teaching and loved it for so many reasons. I was able to bring light, happiness and inspiration to others. And, when I focused on others, my problems seemed to disappear.
Over the next two years, I changed in so many ways and I was living a truly meaningful life. People, opportunities and connections came my way almost like magic. My mind, body, and soul were in alignment and I had worked hard getting to a place where I loved my life and I loved myself. Most importantly, I was able to confront the feelings and emotions I had suppressed for many years and felt truly happy and fulfilled – the most ever in my life.
In December 2016, I attended an event in Florida and fell in love. Because I was in a positive place, it seemed natural to think about being in a relationship. I was ready to commit, but we lived in different states. After much consideration, I made the decision to leave California, where my career as a fitness and yoga professional was flourishing. Following my heart, I moved to New York to join my partner. Needless to say, this was terrifying at so many levels. First, New York was the place where I failed two years earlier. Second, I was entering into a committed relationship – the second real one of my life. Third, I was unemployed and had no income. And, there were the thoughts about what people would say, “Daron is dropping everything for a guy in New York?”
In spite of my fears, I felt I could find a way to make things work. As luck would have it, CorePower Yoga would be opening in New York within a few weeks of my arrival. I could teach, make friends and create a new community. I was ready to again take on the city that almost destroyed me. I was stronger and wiser. What could go wrong? I had a plan, I had a partner. It didn’t take long before terrible thoughts started entering my head – feelings of not being good enough. It became increasingly more difficult for me to get out of bed; I was feeling emotionally paralyzed. Although I was in a loving relationship – inside I was struggling.
Looking back, I had allowed the past to create my future with the stories I was telling myself. No doubt, the transition was hard, but mostly because of my thoughts. Thoughts about what I left behind -- the safety of a full time job, my family and friends. Here I am back in New York -- would it happen again? For the first time, I felt that I was not enough and I didn’t know how to fix myself. Eventually, this affected our relationship and we abruptly went our separate ways. I wanted to snap my fingers and make things better, but I knew that I had to sit in the pain in order to heal, in order to grow. I also had to learn to trust myself and a higher power and to know that I will make the right decisions.
After the breakup, I chose to stay in New York because I knew I was brought back for a reason – to help others and to share my experiences, hopes and strengths. As Oprah often says, “we are to learn from each other’s pain.” I’m still in New York and I didn’t get swallowed up by the big city. I'm slowly climbing the steps to success. I work as a yoga and fitness professional and have created a community of friends. I am grateful to have found my purpose in life – my passion and the opportunity to inspire and help others.